Have you ever thought to yourself, "I can't believe he/she would do that." Or, "Where are the parents?" Well, I know I have. But this week I've learned a huge lesson. You never really know what's going on with other people, do you?
As a mother and parent mentor for yet another teenage girl, I come face to face with my judgments and negative reactions. Just like judging a book by it's cover, we tend to immediately perceive the other person through the lens of our own life. Well, WE surely wouldn't do that. Or WE would have perfect children, etc. But upon closer inspection, what you find is someone trying to survive, just like us. And, digging deeper, you find bigger problems, roots entangled in dysfunction and someone with so much courage that they are trying to put on a brave face. That is courage. Showing up each day, despite all the issues and despite all the hardships.
I have been humbled and saddened this week that I know a child like this. Parental involvement = zilch. Crisis situations = many. School = a last priority. How can this kid succeed, I ask myself. My only answer is....because she knows better. She knows that this is not right, she told me so. She knows how she wants to live, and how she will do it differently. I am clinging to that hope for her future.
So, this week, before we pass judgment quickly, ask yourself if there may be more than meets the eye going on. Usually there is.
