SHE and ME - The Pre-Teen Version

Nothing ruins a sunny disposition faster than pre-teen attitude. Am I right? You wake up, the sun is shining, you are organized for the day, then...SHE wakes up. SHE looks like your first-born; the chubby cheeked babe you held and sang to and played patty-cake with. Only, this version is more like Dr. Jekkyl, Mr. Hyde. SHE is beautiful on the surface, but the minute she opens her mouth, you know. IT'S GONNA BE LONG DAY. Because, don't you know?! The sky is not blue, nothing is good, and you have to be silent until SHE allows you to say "hello".

I realize that every parent goes through this, and this is normal. But I thought I'd be special and either be saved from it, because my kids are superior, or I would be able to handle pre-teen drama so well, that it wouldn't even register as a problem. Ummm, what was I thinking? It is an infectious disease, a black cloud and can quickly turn a happy mommy into a raving lunatic because there are crumbs on the counter.

I have learned on the field of pre-teen battle how to gauge HER. One, do not speak first. This really sets her off. Two, only offer a small, light hug in the morning unless she squeezes you tighter, and then go for the full hug and kiss. Three, never tell her it's a beautiful day. Who am I to know that today may mean doom? And four, pick you battles. Yes, everyone says this and it's very true. With each smartmouth comment you want to ground HER forever, but I would go nuts trying to enforce every offense. So, I build them up. After a few, I give the look. That shuts HER up for a while. Then, I warn...which is usually followed by another smartmouth comment, which I ignore. (Remember when they said to ignore a two-year old's temper tantrums? I think they should have told you to that you'll need this again later). Then, we start with the consequences, which really escalates the drama. SHE does not like to have all her Tivo'd shows deleted, nor does SHE like her new clothing returned to the store, nor does SHE like to lose her ice cream privileges...don't I know!

I know I will get through this...I think I can...I think I can...

When SHE is tired, SHE wears down and becomes the cuddly baby and I soak it in like a mini-retreat. These little loveable breaks are enough fuel to get me through until the next day.

And, just think, I have one more SHE coming up the pipeline....

Celebrations!

My husband, Mike and I recently celebrated our 5 year anniversary. Can you believe it? Instead of just dinner, or dinner and a movie, we did it up in style! My husband actually planned a weekend away at a resort, spa services, all meals AND a gift for me! Again, can you believe it? It got me thinking...how often are we missing opportunities to celebrate marriage, family and life in general? I know in my case, we are often missing the little victories that could really make someone's day. Now, in my family, we are no strangers to parties and festivity-making on a large scale. When we are all together, it's often a party for no reason!

But what about the times when a new client was landed, or a day you stuck to your diet, or a child gets an A on a tough class project? Or just a celebration of a beautiful sunny day? I know we could all use more positive encouragement and a pat on the back for a job well done. In fact, every "How to Stay Married Forever" type book lists celebrations as one of the best things you can do for your marriage.

Now, we all know it doesn't have to be a four-star restaurant and champagne. Not my idea of a celebration anyhow. To me, SHOWING UP IN SOMEONE'S LIFE TO WITNESS HAPPINESS is a celebration. Acknowledging, wallowing and marinating in their happiness for a while is what a celebration really is.

Maybe this weekend, maybe next week, or later this month there will be a perfect opportunity to celebrate a little of life's happiness. Celebrate good times, come on! (Now I got you singing....)